随便说说

今天突然想说点东西。看来是闲得慌才会胡思乱想的，都这把年纪了，精力不用做正事上，不用做学习知识上，却在放纵情绪。偶然看到大自然神奇的图片，突然觉得有点寂寞。有家人有朋友有男人，可是还是抵挡不住那股寂寞的情绪涌上来。 有点想远行，懦弱的逃避。Cheer up!

It's 2010 July

Once, my friend wrote on twitter that ‘How can I do with the youth?’ I commented: ‘To waste.’ Indeed, happy time flies, and youth is wasted on the young.

Most of the movies about teenagers like to describe their life with such scene: bright blue sky, emerald green cornfield, boys and girls are riding the bicycle along the path. Everything looks so relaxing and happy. Even though we are living with the gray sky and crowded people and buildings, we can totally understand that feeling. When I watched these movies, heard those little boys saying that ‘the summer vocation is passed and I did nothing’, I missed my school life and I found that it has been a while that I haven’t set myself free, which made me feel terrible and realized that I start to be away from my teenager’s time. At that time we chatted on school football court at night, took adventure to the secret rooms at the campus corner or wandered and yelled in the rain. We didn’t have any sense about what the time is. The only concept for time was the deadline for homework.

Gradually, ‘Time is money’ has become the slogan for all the city members. The competitive society pushes everyone to speed up. The competition is called ‘who can make the achievement earliest wins’. We are doing the rat race, making money, treasuring the time while exhausted.

When in primary school, the first time we were asked to write something about our future jobs, and since then, I start to dream. I dreamt to be teacher, an air hostess, a singer, an architect and a city planner. I think I must have spent a lot of timing creating my future pictures, because I can still remember some of them. What wonderful dreams they are, however they die before born. Your parents and the society must have taught you how to be realistic and how to give up your dreaming because dreaming is a ridiculer word in the adult’s world, on which you waste your time, your valuable time.

I want to seize the time, the time I still can dream. Lots of elder friends told me, in front of the daily routine, they feel desperate. When they meet the old school friends and sit together, the topic is always the complaint, for the company, for the boss and sometimes for wives, husbands or children. “You know, when we were in school, what we talked about is the colorful future”, one of them said. “while the future now turns out to be boring and flat”. Now, I can nearly get the concrete picture of my future, but I am still reluctant to see it.

Dreaming is a right for human and sometimes a window to escape. One day it is deprived, and then we will face the same struggling world, which is called the reality. The youth means unknown and also means kinds of possibilities, where we can imagine whatever we want, and always have passion and hope for the unknown future. When the future is known, what should i do?

09年了

大概也没什么人来这里了，我还是很勤快的点击着你们的链接，虽然除了bonnie都没有更新，我也只是留下脚印，给来过的人一个交代，我还会写，这里还没有荒废，只是需要时间。09年初记。